hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
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Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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