I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize