Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
