just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
