i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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