you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
