I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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