my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Drunk is not a location!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
