so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
