i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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