If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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