; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we're making bets on your personal life
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
