like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
