Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Two words: nipple clamps
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