My friends, they love my intelligence
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
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