I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
