dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
