And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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