where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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