You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
