I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
