There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
