What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
