a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
