did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
