I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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