I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
