She said her name was "party"
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
