What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
