he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
