imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize