how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Too much gin, very little bucket
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
