so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
