..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
