Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
