just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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