We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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