Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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