I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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