There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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