she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Enjoy the penises
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
