Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
