White coat. Heels.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
