I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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