you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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