It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
