All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
