He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
