He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
