Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize