I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
