do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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