Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
