Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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