No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
