So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Porn is love you can see.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
